Be the Bigger Person, Again: Women and the Burden of Harmony
Women are expected to forgive, accommodate, and keep the peace, often without apology or repair.
More than a century after women were first told they could “have it all,” the reality remains stark: they’re still doing the dishes. Despite gains in education, employment, and political representation, women continue to shoulder the bulk of unpaid domestic labour. Cooking, cleaning, caregiving, these tasks remain gendered, undervalued, and largely invisible.
It’s not just the physical chores. The mental load, remembering birthdays, booking appointments, managing school forms, and anticipating everyone’s needs, is a relentless cognitive burden. It’s rarely acknowledged, let alone shared. Even in households that claim equality, women often become the default managers of family logistics.
Women may hold executive titles or run their own businesses, but many still return home to unpaid shifts. The expectation that they’ll “naturally” take care of others persists, regardless of their professional achievements. This dual burden leads to burnout, resentment, and a quiet erosion of personal time and ambition.
Unpaid labour isn’t just a personal inconvenience, it’s a structural issue. It affects women’s earning potential, retirement savings, and career progression. It reinforces outdated gender roles and keeps equality out of reach. Until this load is named, shared, and valued, women will continue to carry it alone.
Recognition is the first step. Society must stop treating unpaid labour as a personal choice and start seeing it as a systemic imbalance. Workplaces, families, and governments need to rethink how care is supported, how time is valued, and how equality is measured, not just in boardrooms, but in kitchens.
Women are expected to forgive, accommodate, and keep the peace, often without apology or repair.
Women’s contributions remain undervalued and erased.
Women are taught to say yes, smooth conflict, and stay agreeable, often at the cost of their time and power.